Aren't you sick and tired of those shows? In Ireland they call it the "All Ireland Talent Show".
Nice logo eh?
Why the all Ireland talent show? Simple. The goal of the show is to vote for the best "artist" appearing on that show. Artists are coming from the four parts of the country and they are chaperoned by a juge that comes from the same side of the country. So why is that? Simple you dummy!!
You actually don't vote for the quality but for the area they come from meaning that the artist might be a complete shite, well people will vote for that artist anyway because of his/her origin. What the fuck is this? It's not the only things that is weird about it...
The juges...
One is a singer from Boyzone... I know... Singing and Boyzone doesn't really match...
Another one is the guy who has been elected the most stylish dude in Ireland... Actually the guy is a weatherforcast man on TG4 (Irish speaking channel that nobody give a shit about)... What the fuck? Singing... What is the link with weatherforcast??
Another one is some TV presenter, a woman, well she has red hair so yes her Irishness isn't to be discussed. She is also dumb as fuck and knows shit about singing... But she is a juge...
And there is two more, one woman (Dana) who won the Eurovision Song contest when I wasn't born and some guy everyone knows the face but can't pinpoint the name yet...
So, what does that mean?
Well... If you got no talent and have time to waiste and you have an Irish passport and still living in the country why not participate you will be part of a larger project that the Irish television board has launched quite a few years ago... It's called:
So what is the Canadian shite?
Well, anything that goes throught the Catholic Council...
I know... It's weird...
But if you look at a kid program produced in Canada, watch the credits at the end and you will see that. Some priest, high up in the Canadian snow decides if a program is okay for kids. You know, like if there is a good morale to the story or something...
The pope right now is very busy trying to minimize the fact that priest have been abusing kids for decades and some priest in Canada is deciding what program the kid should be watching while having is asshole redone. Nice. Anyway... That is what can be seen on RTE 2, not the kids and priest, but the stupid cartoons.
TV3 is an English channel disguised as an Irish channel. The shows (95% of them) are produced by ITV, so what you will end up with is:
TG4. Well this channel is very different. Nobody knows what the fuck they are talking about...
So yes. Ireland really needed a very expensive program to show off their useless presenters, some skills that I would have felt better not knowing.
And for the contestants, here are a few pointers:
Have you ever thought about emmigration?
Nice logo eh?
Why the all Ireland talent show? Simple. The goal of the show is to vote for the best "artist" appearing on that show. Artists are coming from the four parts of the country and they are chaperoned by a juge that comes from the same side of the country. So why is that? Simple you dummy!!
You actually don't vote for the quality but for the area they come from meaning that the artist might be a complete shite, well people will vote for that artist anyway because of his/her origin. What the fuck is this? It's not the only things that is weird about it...
The juges...
One is a singer from Boyzone... I know... Singing and Boyzone doesn't really match...
Another one is the guy who has been elected the most stylish dude in Ireland... Actually the guy is a weatherforcast man on TG4 (Irish speaking channel that nobody give a shit about)... What the fuck? Singing... What is the link with weatherforcast??
Another one is some TV presenter, a woman, well she has red hair so yes her Irishness isn't to be discussed. She is also dumb as fuck and knows shit about singing... But she is a juge...
And there is two more, one woman (Dana) who won the Eurovision Song contest when I wasn't born and some guy everyone knows the face but can't pinpoint the name yet...
So, what does that mean?
Well... If you got no talent and have time to waiste and you have an Irish passport and still living in the country why not participate you will be part of a larger project that the Irish television board has launched quite a few years ago... It's called:
Let's Waiste Other's Money!
What do I mean? Simple... You got four TV channels in Ireland:
RTE 1 is a general channels, showing a lot of programs produced by Irish companies and also a vaste majorities of programs for the elder generations:
- Murder she wrote
- My fair lady
- The news (about 10 times a day, just in case your memory has gone)
- Dr Phil
- The Doctors
- Monarch of the glenn
RTE 2 is like a massive VCR where the cartoon tape has been forced in and is now stuck. Non stop Japanese or Canadian shite everyday. I think that you might want to to ask what is the Canadian shite. We all know what the Japanese shite is:
Or
Well, anything that goes throught the Catholic Council...
I know... It's weird...
But if you look at a kid program produced in Canada, watch the credits at the end and you will see that. Some priest, high up in the Canadian snow decides if a program is okay for kids. You know, like if there is a good morale to the story or something...
The pope right now is very busy trying to minimize the fact that priest have been abusing kids for decades and some priest in Canada is deciding what program the kid should be watching while having is asshole redone. Nice. Anyway... That is what can be seen on RTE 2, not the kids and priest, but the stupid cartoons.
TV3 is an English channel disguised as an Irish channel. The shows (95% of them) are produced by ITV, so what you will end up with is:
- Coronation Street
- Emmerdale
- Ant And Dec
- Britain's Got Talent
- X Factor
- Dancing On Ice
TG4. Well this channel is very different. Nobody knows what the fuck they are talking about...
So yes. Ireland really needed a very expensive program to show off their useless presenters, some skills that I would have felt better not knowing.
And for the contestants, here are a few pointers:
- Your grand parents telling you that you have a lovely voice when you sing after Sunday lunch isn't a good enough reason to appear in that show.
- Before you make an ass of yourself if front of 1, 275 spectators remembers that some people knows where you live and work.
- Making an idiot of yourself isn't "cool".
- 75% percent of you suck. Please open your eyes and save yourself the price of a train ticket.
Have you ever thought about emmigration?
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